We already have enough fake people in this world - we really do.
And yes, it takes one to know one.
Putting up a facade is a way we've learned to protect ourselves. We needed to say, do and be what society expected so that we can 'look' good enough to fit in and feel like we belong.
We've gone a bit over the edge though. Artificial intelligence is being planted in the minds of our youth - the 3rd grade scholastic news had a picture of a humanistic robot with the title asking kids if this will be their new best friend. WHY? Why would we possibly want a best friend that has NO EMOTION - or has software to make you THINK (not feel) it does -
I do love technology when it works. I get the draw to it too -How nice is it to be able to say a command, have it heard and then actually done. Some'thing' actually listened to me - I didn't have to repeat myself or explain why I wanted to look up a specific topic! It just did what I asked, without any questions! As a Mom, that sometimes can feel miraculous. However, that ease creates even more frustration when actually talking to another human, resentment and competition become wrought - we're are setting ourself up to compete with a machine. That road feels treacherous.
Seriously though ~
Have we become so afraid of emotions that we are willing to create a 'fake' person - a robot - artificial intelligence (AI) just so we can feel like we are in control - that someone is listening to us? or should i say someTHING? Are we so afraid of feeling lonely that we are creating another layer, another level of a fake, phony & pretend people. We have enough of that already, we really do! (That statement needs repeating). There are so many people in this world that do not know how to be authentic - don't know how to deal with emotions so they isolate themselves and say it's the rest of the world's fault that they don't fit in. We are human, we have emotions and the emotions we wish we didn't have are prevalent in everyone. People who can acknowledge and FEEL their emotions are authentic, real and inspirational! Those emotions that most people have deemed to be monstrous, have emotions! Rejection knows when its being rejected, resentment knows when it's being resented and rage knows when it's being contained. Emotions have the reins on our life, our ability to manifest and create experiences that blatantly show us how they are feeling. They key is to listen to our emotions. It's really quite simply - our emotions just want to be acknowledged instead of rejected. They will continue to get louder if we don't acknowledge them, creating destructive situations until we learn the lesson, until we listen ( which isn't so simple)
Until then, we will feel lonely in a crowd of people - who are all pretending to be happy. That's the facade I keep saying is a fake person. However, we are suddenly creating an entire new level of fake, just so we can pretend to ourselves that we don't feel sad, or lonely, or . . .name your emotion. The most dangerous lies are the ones, not only that we tell ourselves, but that we've told so long - we actually believe them.
The term fake and phony certainly gets our attention doesn't it? It triggers our grief, our anger - it brings up feelings of betrayal and abandonment. All feelings we wish we didn't have - all feelings we've been told DON'T BELONG! We are human and as part of this experience, we NEED to feel. Humans have basic needs to survive ~ shelter & food - anyone can watch one episode of Naked and Afraid to know we don't actually NEED clothing - although it is a comfort we've woven into society as a need. (ok ok, cold climates it IS a need) We're not taught though, that we also NEED to feel connected. That is a NEED.
Having come back from disease that cuts off feelings (MS) to now feeling so much, I get it - I do, feeling our feelings and expressing them in constructive ways puts us in vulnerable position for others to judge and shame. And yet, thats the name of the game - without being vulnerable - there's no connection, no communication, no collaboration, no creativity! We as humans need connection to thrive, to be powerful, to stand for what we believe in. Take away our connection to other human beings, distract us with easiness and undetected isolation and before we know it, we're living in a world that doesn't consider compassion or empathy. THAT is the patriarch's intention. Not masculine or men, mind you, because many woman have bought into it as well. That may seem harsh, saying we've bought into, but saying it any other way sugar coats it in a way that may not get the message across directly. We've bought into making life easy, comfortable and predictable. We've bought into the idea that keeping everything easy, keeps our emotions in control. Well, thats all fine and dandy until we have an experience that triggers the shit out of one emotion and it explodes out us in the wrong place at the wrong time! Making us want to isolate even more (meanwhile other emotions are lining up - let me explode out too - yikes).
Teaching our children that life is easy, controllable and predictable is a lie, a facade. We only teach them this because we don't know how to deal with unpredictable & uncomfortable experiences ourselves. Teaching them this, like we've been taught perpetuates the emotion of betrayal. You know that feeling, when you find out someone has lied to you. We are repeating history & its getting louder - imagine when they realize life isn't easy or predictable, that shit can happen at any given moment - imagine the rage that creates. And then we wonder why we have an outbreak of mass shootings.
Artificial intelligence (AI) may seem helpful, reliable and gives us an illusion of stress relief, however it's just distracting us from what we are thinking, feeling and behaving. Distractions are the lie. To be able to discern what is a distraction, we need to become intimately aware of our emotions - and we can only do that through staying connected in relationships (which can be uncomfortable and unpredictable). The exact opposite of AI.
Stay connected, get uncomfortable and LIVE a life full of energy in motion - the definition of emotion.
My original intention about shame, was to drag it out into the open, out of isolation, blasting it with Light and Love. Ha! Not sure if you heard the irony in that last sentence, but dragging anything out in the open is not done with the intention of Love ~ Light, yes, but Light without Love is simple judgment.
How many of us want to be dragged onto a stage where we already know we're being brutally judged. Willingly walking on that same stage takes a courage that many of us don't realize we do indeed have, but being dragged means your not willing. And, when we're not willing that is breeding ground for resentment. So, instead of adding resentment on top of shame & wonder why it didn't work, I invite you read how i approach shame differently now, and also invite you to try something different in your life today.
My 'something different' consists of getting to know an energy that triggers me and/or scares me. Instead of running away, or containing or rejecting it - i turn to face it now. This letter is just one way i work with an energy that seems unapproachable inside.
Hello Shame, I have a new intention.
Thank you for allowing me to explain. I've realized you are an energy, just like I am, just like we all are - we are made of energy. You, being an energy that I believed was MINE, was ME, I didn't know I had a choice to have you in my life. So, unconsciously of course, I blamed you for making me feel like i was something that didn't belong in this world when really it was my own limiting belief. Instead of talking to you and finding out this truth, I admit, I avoided talking to you for a very long time. I personally know what it feels like to be avoided - not such a loving feeling is it? Thank you for teaching me that the Law of Cause and Affect, aka karma, really does start inside. You helped me stay hidden, unseen and therefore I felt that false sense of security.
(Some energies are a low vibration. We've been taught (I've been taught) that low vibrations are 'not good'. And yet, radio waves are a low vibration that carry our voice, our messages and connect us over distances that otherwise, higher vibrations (or frequencies) would have blown out. And, in music, it's the low vibrations that gives depth to a song creating harmony.
I have misjudged you and i'm so sorry, please forgive me, thank you and I do now accept that you do have a purpose in this world and in my life. You are a deep vibration. You add depth and character to me and people who chose to meet with you, speak with you and learn from you. I'm also sorry that my original intention was to 'drag' you out into the open. I have learned you are shy and if i am forceful, you know how to make a situation explode, creating more shame. I have learned that if I continue to drag you out, just to humiliate you with the idea that you'll go away - the simple laws of cause and affect kick in - and all i'm really doing is dragging myself into situations that are shameful. If I continue to do that, what i really need to look at isn't you, shame - it's why I feel I need you in my life. It seems to me, now that I've talked to you, that I only create more shameful situations to hide the one I asked you to keep a strong hold on in the first place.
I've also spent the time to look back at where this belief came from, to realized that other people, just like me, didn't know how that deal with, or handle you, shame, in our life. The way I was taught to deal with something uncomfortable was to distract others by showing them you, shame, in their life. This way, they'd be so distracted trying to cover up and explain you, shame, away, they wouldn't see that you, shame, are in my life as well and judge me. I wouldn't have to feel what made me feel so ashamed in the first place. I could keep that isolated, contained and avoided. But here's the thing - doing that to you, shame, back fired and i ended up isolating, containing and avoiding myself.
That took me awhile to get to my new intention, but here it is: Shame, i intend to let you go. Although that may mean that what I asked you to contain will come out, i am willing to face the judgments of others, knowing that the only reason they judge me, is because they are simply trying to distract me from seeing (sensing) that there is something in their life, that they hate themselves for and blame it on shame. I Am willing to hold space, showing us a way to accept ourself - for where there is acceptance, not judgment, there is Divine Love.
Are you willing to speak to your shame, releasing it's strong hold on you so that you can receive the gift of Love in your life? I may not be ready, but I am wiling.
When it came to sexual abuse ~ women rose together and #metoo was born. It felt powerful and it was . Men in 'powerful' positions were threatened ~ some even came crashing down.
"A woman feels her power when her voice is being heard" Karen Drucker
How can we shut women's voice's down? How can we take their power? What are they so ashamed of, they won't ban together, numbering in the millions? Abortion.
One out of four woman - 1 out of 4 women have had an abortion! Brené Brown researches shame - she found that secrecy and silence keep shame thriving. Meaning, the more we talk openly about abortion, the shame factor can lessen. But boy, shame tempts us to keep silent. While we sit in silence, men in powerful positions are taking advantage of our silence, they're taking advantage of the shame we feel and manipulating it to breed more shame!
Wether or not you had to face this choice, someone you know, sits in silence, in shame. For the women who have had to face this choice, my heart goes out to you. No one can explain the complexity a woman goes through before she makes a choice to abort. And, for the women who have faced this choice and kept the baby - that was designed for you as well, not to swell into pride and righteousness, but to realize that, at the very least, you had the freedom to make a safe choice. Not just for the fetus, but for the mom and for life after birth.
Pro-life isn't just about a fetus, it's about everyone's LIFE involved. It's about being able to make a choice that was designed for you to make. That your life, and voice and choice matter, that you are free to make that choice! Pro-Life is Prochoice!